I am in the middle of my end of year balloon pop countdown. I will write more about that in depth later. Friday was my school's kindergarten promotion. As I was planning my countdown, I tied Friday's festivities to my school's annual talent show and our recognition.
I bought shades and glow bracelets from the Dollar Store to give them to take home as an added bonus to help them stay engaged in an already exciting day. Most of the week outside of teaching (after hours) was devoted to preparing for this event. This time of year is so hard on my body and personality. I thrive with structure and routine as do my little ones. So as modified schedules take over and flexibility is critical to being a team player, my personality has to find ways to adjust so that I can help the little ones adjust. One of my strategies is packing the days full with fun. Friday was full! School wide talent show, rehearsal for recognition, and learning!
I decided that I wanted to read I Can Be Anything! by Jerry Spinelli and revisit our hopes and dreams from the beginning and middle of our year. After listening to the book, I had them write about what they wanted to be when they grew up. This was to help them prepare for a photo I was going to take of them holding their chosen occupation on a chalkboard. The photo is going to be part of their end of year gift. We are not finished with our writing but here is one example.
This little one wrote about wanting to be a Teacher. "So I can help kids learn". As I monitored during our writing workshop, I was surprised by how many wanted to be Teachers as well as how many of them chose realistic career opportunities. Of course, I have some that dream of being a Rock Star or NBA Basketball Player because reality has not yet torn down their dreams. As I visited with the children as I took pictures about their reason why they would chose the occupation they chose, my heart was overwhelmed. A great majority of them chose their choice because they want to help others.
I was overwhelmed for a few different reasons...
I am five days away from closing the book on year nine. It has felt like a milestone all year but even more so now as I approach ten years. There are lots of valid reasons people do not continue to teach and increasingly so in my state where education is struggling. Year nine feels like a huge milestone for that reason alone.
This year has been hard. I am tired of the media and critics outside of education pointing out mistakes and our failures. I will own my mistakes but I will not own anyone else's especially when it is legislators and state superintendents. This job is absolutely hard enough without the constant negativity. I cannot think of any profession that is perfect. Teachers are held to perfectionism. The fact is we are human and we are doing the best we can. I cannot imagine being a first year or new teacher with everything that is being thrown at us. Nine years in, there were times this year where I felt like a newbie. I might be one of the clumsiest people you will ever meet but I can juggle (and pretty well in my opinion). At times, it is hard being positive when you are drowning in negativity. This year has been one of my hardest (that first year still wins every single time). However, it has been rewarding.
Families still trust me with their little ones in a world where that is increasingly hard to do. I get to build relationships with little ones that last beyond our year together. Friday was a sweet reminder of that. When things are tough, that is one of those things I try to remember. In the midst of setting up for kindergarten recognition, a fourth grader who I had in kindergarten comes up with this sweet note she made in student council. It just had a simple thank you and some kind words but it was the sweetest reminder about why investing in this job, the little ones, and their families is important. This is an added perk of being an early childhood teacher in an elementary school that houses Pre-K through Fifth Grade. Goodbyes are hard but I have five more years of hallway hellos, after school hugs, and random encounters with these children.
My state is currently trying to measure my success (and others) based on test results and roster verifications. It is scary but not for the reason most people would think. I am fine with being accountable for my children during our year. I want them to excel in reading, writing, math, science and social studies but when they come back in the years to come I really do not believe the investment of academics is what I want to be remembered for nor do I think it will be. There are not any bubbles on standardized testing and roster verifications for the investment of time and building relationships. I absolutely believe this is where the difference is made.
There are times this year, year nine, where I have struggled. One of my biggest struggles has been balancing everything that is expected while being true to everything that is right. Amid the balancing act of year nine, when we were talking about the future and what we wanted to do, about a third of my class said "Teacher". For me, it is absolutely a compliment that they would think about choosing this career. Ultimately, the true compliment lies in that they want to help people. At the end of the day, I am accountable to my state and district but the most important people I am accountable to, these future decision makers and leaders, hopefully are better (both academically and socially) after our year together.
As I was hugging one of my little ones before she left on Friday at Kindergarten Promotion, she grabbed on a little tighter. I had to remind her we still have time together. The media and other sources will tell you everything that is wrong with education. That hug encompasses everything that is right, although, if you have never been in a classroom or lived through a year of teaching it is almost impossible to understand the meaning held within it.
“Beginnings are usually scary, endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts." - Steven Rogers
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