In college during my early childhood fundamental courses, we learned about theories from Piaget and Vygotsky. We spent a great deal of time learning about the theories and how it impacts our instruction as educators and in turn the development of lessons that contribute to student learning. Piaget believes that our background knowledge helps us take in new information because we assimilate it with something we already know. Disequilibrium occurs when our new information does not fit our schema. Piaget's theory revolves around the fact that in order for learning to occur, disequilibrium has to exist because that is how growth and change occur.
I have thought about his theory countless times throughout the year, especially the first half. 2015 was hard, in January, my brother and I were joking about could it be 2016 yet? And in less than 36 hours, it will be. As I think about the hardships of the year, the moments of disequilibrium, I am absolutely ready to file 2015 away as a finished chapter in a book but I want to remember the hardships because Piaget was right, it creates growth.
1. Time
There is never enough. Somewhere along the line, you stop counting years even with passing birthdays and you think you have forever and then you get brutal reminders that is just not the case. I thought graduate school and my first year of teaching was the best teacher of time management but it turns out teaching amid real life, the ugliest parts, will help you manage life better than you ever thought you could. I have learned to really prioritize the use of my time.
2. Just Say No...
Before 2015 began, I had told myself I was going to work on saying no without giving a reason for it. I am really guilty of volunteering myself for tasks because I feel guilty that no one else is stepping up to the plate. Since time is fleeting and no one has figured out how to press pause or put any more hours in the day, saying no is imperative. Things happened that made it relatively easy to say no, priorities and all, but I think those events helped me realize the importance of saying no to take care of myself and those I love is necessary all the time not just in emergencies.
3. Life is Sticky
Life is messy and ugly. I learned a lot about having patience and grace in those messy and ugly moments. I have no patience for standing in line at the grocery store, waiting at the dentist or doctor, or "killing time". It stems from my type A, let's get things done attitude. There were lots of bigger moments of waiting where I felt like my patience was tried and I wanted to throw down the biggest tantrum from pure exhaustion of life. I really tried to use these moments to train my heart and mind to be kind, find joy, and be patient. I still absolutely struggle with the waiting game, and yes I know everyone hates waiting, but I learned during those moments of interlude to really embrace life even in the stickiest of moments.
4. Grace for Myself
I am a go getter. It is in my blood. I make to do lists to cross things off because it feels good to get stuff done. People will give me a hard time for it and I will let them because I have embraced that it is who I am. Sometimes, I envy the people who have a pile of things they want to get done and ignore it. Life taught me to ignore the piles this year. Here is the most shocking part, they did not move! I learned that it is okay to have a pile or piles of things I did not get to in a given day (or week) because it will wait. Rome was not built in a day and I learned that it is okay if I do not get it all done in a given day. As my harshest critic, I learned how important it is to have grace for myself.
5. "You Do You"
This was the harshest lesson for my sensitive heart. I really go through life expecting the same of people as I do of myself. I learned that you just cannot do that. I have struggled with wanting to be bitter and angry when people did not reciprocate in a manner that I would have liked or maybe expected. I have learned that everyone has a different heart and a different approach. People show they care in different ways. It has made me examine my relationships and the depth at which I give of myself in various relationships. For a people pleasing, sensitive, emotional girl this has been hard. There were times in the year where I wanted to be bitter or angry at people ---actions and words or lack there of--- are hurtful. I have really had to train myself to be graceful with people but only to the extent of taking care of myself. It is expected that we are all different but it does not mean that I have to continue to extend myself for someone who is not willing to do the same for me. I have learned to set limits as a giver, "because takers rarely do" but at the same time really give, my time, presence, and words with those are who are willing to receive such simplicity with the utmost love and joy.
I am completely grateful for every person who throughout the season of disequilibrium understood my sadness and joy but more importantly approached my heart with complete understanding.
I have mixed feelings about ringing in the new year. I am ready for a new beginning but I am thankful for even the ugliest days in 2015 because they taught me some important lessons. I think the lessons have made me a better person and in turn a better teacher. I worried all summer long about my little ones from last year --- could they tell how emotionally spent I was on even the best day, how my smile at times was forced, or how my sunglasses sometimes hid tears during recess. Those firsties are my biggest cheerleaders on a bad day --- I get countless number of hugs at the end of the day dismissal, hallway hellos, and one little one came down to the kindergarten hallway during the day and said, "I snuck down here just to see you".
I think we would all be a little bit better off if we continually approached life like the little ones. So in 2016, that's one of my goals, to continue to focus on the littlest moments and to love people deeply to the best of my ability. At closing meeting each day, we talk through the day's events and then children get to decide their favorite part of the day. Ten and a half year's into this teaching gig, it is still fills my heart with supreme joy when above all the fun and excitement, they say "spending time with you". Here's to being present in 2016 and making the most of even the ugly moments.
4. Grace for Myself
I am a go getter. It is in my blood. I make to do lists to cross things off because it feels good to get stuff done. People will give me a hard time for it and I will let them because I have embraced that it is who I am. Sometimes, I envy the people who have a pile of things they want to get done and ignore it. Life taught me to ignore the piles this year. Here is the most shocking part, they did not move! I learned that it is okay to have a pile or piles of things I did not get to in a given day (or week) because it will wait. Rome was not built in a day and I learned that it is okay if I do not get it all done in a given day. As my harshest critic, I learned how important it is to have grace for myself.
5. "You Do You"
This was the harshest lesson for my sensitive heart. I really go through life expecting the same of people as I do of myself. I learned that you just cannot do that. I have struggled with wanting to be bitter and angry when people did not reciprocate in a manner that I would have liked or maybe expected. I have learned that everyone has a different heart and a different approach. People show they care in different ways. It has made me examine my relationships and the depth at which I give of myself in various relationships. For a people pleasing, sensitive, emotional girl this has been hard. There were times in the year where I wanted to be bitter or angry at people ---actions and words or lack there of--- are hurtful. I have really had to train myself to be graceful with people but only to the extent of taking care of myself. It is expected that we are all different but it does not mean that I have to continue to extend myself for someone who is not willing to do the same for me. I have learned to set limits as a giver, "because takers rarely do" but at the same time really give, my time, presence, and words with those are who are willing to receive such simplicity with the utmost love and joy.
I am completely grateful for every person who throughout the season of disequilibrium understood my sadness and joy but more importantly approached my heart with complete understanding.
I have mixed feelings about ringing in the new year. I am ready for a new beginning but I am thankful for even the ugliest days in 2015 because they taught me some important lessons. I think the lessons have made me a better person and in turn a better teacher. I worried all summer long about my little ones from last year --- could they tell how emotionally spent I was on even the best day, how my smile at times was forced, or how my sunglasses sometimes hid tears during recess. Those firsties are my biggest cheerleaders on a bad day --- I get countless number of hugs at the end of the day dismissal, hallway hellos, and one little one came down to the kindergarten hallway during the day and said, "I snuck down here just to see you".
I think we would all be a little bit better off if we continually approached life like the little ones. So in 2016, that's one of my goals, to continue to focus on the littlest moments and to love people deeply to the best of my ability. At closing meeting each day, we talk through the day's events and then children get to decide their favorite part of the day. Ten and a half year's into this teaching gig, it is still fills my heart with supreme joy when above all the fun and excitement, they say "spending time with you". Here's to being present in 2016 and making the most of even the ugly moments.
"And suddenly it's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings"
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