Politics and Perspective

About a month ago, I went for a routine dental cleaning.  My dental hygienist was out sick and the substitute was asking me all kinds of questions which is awkward since while you are sitting in the chair, you are not able to answer.  One of the first things she asked me was "did you watch the Presidential debate last night?"  My answer was as deliberate and intentional as my decision to not watch it.  No.  In my head, I thought that would end the conversation but politics are interesting nonetheless and the one sided conversation continued with some responses about my career.  I am not an on-the-spot thinker - I can process and over analyze situations after the fact so it's the worst when someone says "why on Earth would you want to be a teacher".  She is not the first person who has said it and she most likely will not be the last.  And here's one of the hard parts of teaching - you are always on.  So even when I am thinking carefully about how to respond to her words - I have to think first about the profession as a whole that I am representing.  How can I be respectful in my response to what I perceive to be a rude question?   

While I think the question stems from curiosity - what is the perspective of someone who is currently in the trenches - the wording and tone changes the conversation. I have reflected many times over in the last thirty days about what I would say if I was asked the question again or had a few hours to really answer the question.  When I responded "the kids" - it's a blanket answer that you just don't begin to understand the depth of unless you are living it.

Think about it in terms of making preparations for Thanksgiving dinner for your family and closest friends.  Of course, you have the main entree of turkey and sides of mashed potatoes, dressing, maybe green bean casserole.  But things get complicated when planning a menu because you have to think about the vegetarian and someone else who does not eat carbs.  What about the person who is allergic to nuts?  What do you do when you only have one oven and need to make sure that everything is heated and cooked appropriately before serving the meal?  What about when your favorite football team plays in the afternoon and they have a winning record this year?  And then there is seating...  I could go on and on.  The planning and preparation that goes into one holiday meal for your family and closest friends to an extent is what a classroom teacher does for every lesson, every day.  Sometimes, I get tired just thinking about the amount of decisions I make every day without hesitation that matter.  That's one of the hardest things - there is not much lee way for an overcooked turkey, mashed potatoes that are dry or seating the wrong family members next to each other.  Those simple mistakes in my world can detour learning from the most engaging lesson.

It's ironic that a question made in passing can stir so much emotion and thought, but it does.  My generic answer for my why might be kids.  However, those of us who are living it know that even that answer is not reflective of the work we do.  I have this little one who constantly needs her shoes tied - here's a teacher tid bit - Converse are the worst shoes to stayed tied even though they are precious on little feet.  This little one doesn't wear Converse and I was stumped.  I finally figured it out - the little one unties the shoes just so it creates an interaction when I have to tie them.  I have caught her in the act and she does not know it.  Why would I spend all day tying this little one's shoes - because there is so much more to the story - parts that I do know and parts that I might never know.  When you think of them all in terms of those moments - it sometimes breaks my heart that there is virtually not enough of me for all of them.  I think one of the reasons it stirs up so much emotion is because I know how hard teaching is - I know the hard work and I know how much heart work goes into it.

I love America!  My grandpa was a War World II Veteran that loved his country.  I would like to believe that his love of his country was inherently passed along.  Over the last year, America's behavior has been disheartening.  It is devastating to know you are spending your days trying to teach five and six year olds how to problem solve, resolve conflict and be kind and as a country we have not been able to do it.  Somewhere amid this political campaign, we went far off course.  As I was planning my lessons for this week through the topics of American symbols, my social studies standards, and naturally incorporating the democracy of every day life in - I found myself antsy about it all.  This time of year is supposed to be engaging and fun!  I was frustrated that I was preparing to deal with how the antics of adults could impact my classroom.  There were more than a few moments of processing how to keep my safe classroom community from it all.  I have this strong desire to teach them, build their background knowledge and to "keep them little" in all the ways that the world does not allow.  I  am sitting on the other side - and we did it.  I worried and walked this fine line of teaching my curriculum and engaging what was going on in their outside world, all while keeping them little.  I sent home a letter to families, hoped they would respect my decision to keep our conversations focused on the character traits of our book characters and only mention the candidates name during our school's mock election and after the fact as our President elect was named.  Last week, post Halloween and running on sugar highs, as I set the stage for it - they had a million questions about voting and who you could tell or why you could not share.  But then the conversation took another turn and a little one asked "how many Presidents are there" and I bit.  I said well, do you mean how many are alive or how many have we had.  And so the conversation went off in a direction that I never intended.  There was some intense on the spot thinking going on during that conversation - here's where you should really pay attention if you have ever said "oh, you just teach kindergarten".  After answering all their questions a little one said,  "Oh, Mrs. Pogue, you are better than Google." to which another one said, "it must be all those books she reads." I would tell you hanging out with littles throughout the last week has just reminded me about looking at life through their lens.  Adults could learn a lot about handling disappointment and everything life throws at you like my five and six year olds.

I am a list maker.  I always have a daily list of goals I want to get done during my planning, breaks, or after school.  I know it is ridiculous. Sometimes, I feel like my life is over managed but it is absolutely the only way to attempt at not dropping any balls.  Last week, I had Halloween and a Fall party on Monday and then parent teacher conferences spread throughout my evenings after a full day of teaching (so in addition to all the regular planning and preparation that goes into kindergarten) and one of my major assignments for my graduate class that I adjunct was due.  Somewhere in July, when I was planning for that course, I was not looking at my availability in my kindergarten world.  It's just the nature of the game - sometimes no matter how much planning and preparations are made, things collide and balls are dropped.  I am still learning how to have grace for myself even when the outside world does not.  One of my advanced readers has learned my trick of my to do list - so amid the struggles of last week, he is one of the first students to walk in and take care of all his morning routines and goes over to where I had my list and looks at it and says "so what all do you have planned for today?" and smiles at me. 

On Monday, one of my littles who struggles with his emotions was very upset with me after I had redirected his behavior in the middle of the hallway.  He was walking with me at the front of the line down the hall and was anything but happy about it.  I stopped the class and a little one from last year walks by and I say hello him.  He almost walked right by after saying hi but he stopped, glanced at me and came over and gave me a hug and we traded "I love you's" and the little one who was so angry with me said, "you love him too?"  It was a full circle moment - sometimes there are not enough of them but I swear that when they happen they carry more power than words could ever really explain.  

So when someone insults my college degrees, teaching experiences, and career choice with the tone of the question "why on Earth would you want to be a teacher" please know that when I respond with "the kids" there is so much more that I want to say beyond that simple answer.  I would love to answer that I think my heart is just a little bit bigger than yours because I am so busy trying to be the teacher that every little one deserves.