Wave On Wave

When I was in college, I loved to attend a good concert.  In fact, the cheaper the better.  Pat Green was a red dirt country artist who often hopped the Texas border and would end up in Oklahoma.  My brother and I, piled some friends in the car and headed North to the rival college town for a concert.  There's one major reason why this one concert sticks out in my mind from the multitude of others.  When we bought the tickets and made the plans, it sounded like a grand idea - the event landed on a Friday night so any papers that needed to be written or assignments to be completed could wait.  It was my last semester of college and packed with 21 hours of credits that I needed to graduate before student teaching.  I was managing the stress and expectations well.  As a part of the process of teaching, certification tests have to be scheduled in various semesters - my subject area one for early childhood education, happen to fall during that semester.  It also happened to fall on the morning after the concert.  I remember slightly having a panic attack when I figured the conflict out - I like my sleep and I need my sleep to function well.  If I remember correctly, my worry free friends told me there was nothing to worry about, "you'll do fine", they said without hesitation.  Somewhere in the midst of the conflict, I was under the assumption that the concert started much earlier than it actually did - I had the concert beginning at the time when the doors opened.  Long story short - we ended up in another town with nothing but time to kill and my bedtime essentially got pushed back.  I remember enjoying the concert (it was not the only time I saw him live) but my heart was so full of worry and anxiety over that certification test that I believe I might have enjoyed it more if I would have just taken a breath and lived in the moment.  I made it home, got very little sleep, stood in line for that certification test and got the highest score on it out of all the other ones I took.  

Even though the calendar says June (and it's a much later date than I would like), I find myself anxious about August.  My frame of reference for the worry and all the what if's jogs my memory to that mid November night where everything worked out just fine because I was ready.

Naturally there are seasons in the school year but there are also seasons not marked by the weather outside or the date on the calendar.  Every season has its strengths and down falls.  Right now, the only seasons on my mind are the beginning - August, September, and sometimes October, and the end - May.  This past year, May was harder than I remember which leads me to the anticipation of August.  Teachers spend all of June catching up on the sleep they missed in May and although it would be nice if we could bank sleep for August, it does not seem to matter how many hours we get in July, August steals it.  

At the beginning of the year, all children in room 29 care about is when it is time for lunch, recess, snack.  Band Aids and lotion solve the worlds problems.  Somewhere along the way, their self confidence blossoms, they do not stop talking, and your heart fills with joy when you notice all the little changes in their independence and personalities that came because of comfort, routine, and structure.  I know those changes did not occur overnight, but I am beyond guilty of celebrating my own participation in their growth.  

In the upcoming school year in Oklahoma, we are facing budget shortfalls and a revenue crisis across the board and one of the things that is receiving cuts is education.  It is not a "new" problem but now what has been talked about for years is finally going to hit home.  I am frustrated and disheartened with the leaders of the state and politicians who continually put education last but suddenly their decision making and poor leadership are directly going to affect all educators and kids.  Over the years as this has continued to be discussed and dissected, I have come to terms with the lack of direct control and worked on the areas that I directly have control over - room 29 through the relationships with children and their families.  

Last year, during one of our countdown days (over the last 10 days of school), we were going to tie dye some white t-shirts so I sat giving the class directions and was going to call them 1 - 2 at a time to dye their own shirt.  As I was giving the directions, we talked about patience, how it would take time for me to have time with everyone, all 19 of them.  Patience is beyond a virtue for five and six year olds - it is a work in progress throughout the year - to be able to get them to take turns and realize that I will not forget them whether it is on some project like this or even assessment!  They all want time with their teacher and they all deserve it.  As I was transitioning to the activity and gathering materials, a little one said, "Wouldn't it be nice if there were 19 of you?  One for each of us."  Ironic that little ones get the importance of class size while the politicians making the cuts will make excuses in August when the class sizes across the state are larger than any teacher, principal, or district would prefer because all of us know that class size matters.  

It matters so much - every child deserves to feel like their educational experience is tailored to fit them.  Families deserve that too.  Here's where the worry strikes.  I am just me - I think about the things I can do with 19 students vs. 27 students.  It is not just even how squished we are on the carpet or if I have enough cubbies for each one of them to hang their belongings.  It is about how just a few more students changes the entire playing field.  There's still very much only one of me - spread a little bit thinner.  Adding just a few more children adds a few more report cards to fill out, a few more emails from families, a few more copies, a few more reading assessments to give and a lot less time to interact with children and really get to know them - their learning styles, personalities, and families.  

I think that Pat Green concert keeps coming to mind because I really want to celebrate my moments in May a little bit more before I start thinking about the anxiety that August has to offer.  I really want my heart to enjoy the concert because I am prepared for the test.  

Kindergarten Recognition - Every little one had someone there for them.  

Thunder Thursday

ARR Matey!  You can tell a lot about a class about how the questions they ask, things they say thank you for, and things they remember.  They were excited about the jello and an orange slice, loved making pirate hats out of construction paper and when I told them they could wear an eye patch in the hallway you would have thought I told them it was gold.  During our scavenger hunt, they were full of excitement but the best part was when they were whispering to each other (because they were not supposed to be talking) in the hallway about things we had done earlier in the year.  "This makes me think of when we did the scavenger hunt on Dot Day."  "Remember when we did..."  And at the end of the scavenger hunt when all my go to teacher friends were in meetings or class and the red X was not in the hallway, they laughed at me rushing in the room to throw it in the hallway for the other kindergarten classes and said thank you for the hard work.

"If you give an inch, they'll take a mile"... I think of this in the early days when I am consistent, firm, and setting boundaries but on those last days, I am all about breaking the rules within reason.  On pancake and pajama day, we were tallying which type of pancake they wanted for snack that afternoon.  Several little ones said "but I need to try both to see which one I like best".  So without hesitation, we added both to the chart.

Another moment where you would have thought I gave them gold, "I get to pour my own syrup?!"  

I love Mexican food.  I stole this idea from a teammate.  She had used "Taco 'Bout Our Year" last year.  The morning of this Taco Tuesday as I was prepping the chart paper, I just threw Lettuce on there as a whim.  They were so excited about this day that during morning meeting one of my little ones said "oh, I get it..lettuce like let us".  We filled up 2 pieces of chart paper with all their ideas and some of them wrote about ones that were not included.  My favorite part is that all their memories were without prompting.  The only thing I said they could not write about was recess or lunch.  It had to be about things our class did.

Families are amazing support systems in so many different ways.  In this instance, they provided all the ingredients including chips, salsa, and queso.  In the earlier days of the countdown, when we were talking about all the days and Taco Tuesday was mentioned and a little one said, "are we having chips and queso?"  How can the girl that loves Mexican food deny them of that!  Then a little one asked for sour cream because she likes them on her tacos.  At the end of the year, ask and you shall receive.

Last day sidewalk chart art by a student.  "You know Mrs. Pogue, I won't see you this summer but I'll keep you in my heart."

I keep thinking about a little one who pushed my limits during the month of May.  I was told several times during the month "I am so ready for first grade" among other comments.  Right before our last dismissal on the last day, he looks at me and says "I changed my mind about first grade.  I'll just stay with you."  The same little one came up to me at a tball game a few weeks ago after the game and said "did you know I have cried every night since school was out thinking about you and first grade?"  And then there's the little one that challenged me by crawling under tables at the beginning of the year and told me more "no" times than I can count whispering in the hallway, "I am just gonna miss you so, so much".  

I just keep thinking about the Starfish Story.  Last year, it mattered to all 19 of them.  The verdict is out about how many little ones it will matter to in the upcoming year.